Getting Raw

It is a sad fact that many of my generation, myself included, are unable to get through the Bee Gees’ Stayin’ Alive without gobbing out ‘Get raw with the fever on the dance floor’ halfway through.

The true number of young people who were forever affected by N-Trance’s predatory activities may never be known, but it is hard to deny that remixes, mega-mixes and mash-ups can do lasting harm to both listener and original artist.

Even today, there are many who have no idea that the chorus of Abba’s Voulez Vous does not in fact lead straight into a line from SOS, thanks to proto-mixer Jaap Eggermont’s insidious Stars on 45. I myself once attempted a full system reset by playing nothing but Abba Gold from start to finish on repeat during a long drive to Durham, but the ghost of the insistent clap-machine still haunts every track.

Then there are the thousands, if not millions, who were unwittingly exposed to Jive Bunny in the 80s and 90s, millions who to this day cannot sing the opening line to Let’s Twist Again without stuttering out ‘Come on everybody c-c-come on everybody’. These are old wounds; they have never healed.

When will the authorities wake up and address this shameful legacy of our past? At the very least some sort of truth and reconciliation session is needed. Calling Mirage’s Jack Mix to the witness stand…