I was commissioned by the splendid Craig Andrews, who runs the Orcs in the Webbe gaming site, to write something for his online 2014 Advent Calendar.
Rather than write a 7TV or a short story, I was inspired by the recent Fighting Fantasy Fest in honour of Steve Jackson and Ian Livingstone, to write my own gamebook, based on a Department X episode from the 7TV Summer Special.
Needless to say, my initial plan to write an adventure spanning multiple locations across the fictional town of Hoddleston and culminating in a confrontation with the nefarious Dr Argo got somewhat out of hand. The first two locations took up 10,000 words on their own, so I wrapped things up with a suitable end of level boss fight, but left it open for the rest of the adventure, should I get the time and energy to finish it off.
No dice required, just a pencil and paper to keep track of a couple of resources and some wise (or lucky) decisions. Have a go.
* * *
The Fright Before Christmas
Choose Your Own Adventure
In this game, you
are Tweedy Mattison, a brilliant, if eccentric, scientific advisor to the
British Department for Extraordinary Affairs, also known as Department X. Your
inquisitive mind and flair for solving baffling mysteries is matched only by
your ability to get into danger time and again. Fortunately, you are frequently
partnered with resourceful police officer May Killan, the perfect person to watch
your back in a fight.
You have only one score to keep track of in this game, LIFE.
Certain situations will cause you to lose LIFE, such as fights or accidents.
You start the game with 6 LIFE. Make a note of your current LIFE at all times.
When it drops to zero or below, your adventure is over.
You will be able to call on your friend May Killan to help
you in combat ONCE only in the game, using an old-fashioned police whistle.
Choose wisely when to call her.
Gadgets
As an agent of Department X, you are equipped with a handful
of advanced gadgets which may prove useful in the game. Select any two gadgets
from the list below. Each may be used ONCE only.
Air Mask
A tiny mouthpiece and oxygen cylinder, enabling you to breathe underwater or withstand poisonous gas.
A tiny mouthpiece and oxygen cylinder, enabling you to breathe underwater or withstand poisonous gas.
Climbing Suckers
Small but powerful suckers which attach to your hands and feet, enabling you to climb sheer surfaces.
Small but powerful suckers which attach to your hands and feet, enabling you to climb sheer surfaces.
Infra-Red Spectacles
Specially treated goggles which enable you to see in the dark.
Specially treated goggles which enable you to see in the dark.
Mini Laser
A powerful laser the size of a pen, enabling you to cut through solid steel.
A powerful laser the size of a pen, enabling you to cut through solid steel.
Photonic Spanner
This handy tool is excellent for opening locks and disrupting electronic devices.
This handy tool is excellent for opening locks and disrupting electronic devices.
Wristwatch Buzzsaw
A small circular saw built into an innocuous timepiece, enabling you to free yourself from the sturdiest of restraints.
A small circular saw built into an innocuous timepiece, enabling you to free yourself from the sturdiest of restraints.
Now read on to begin your adventure...
1
"Mattison, I need a word."
His moustache fairly bristles with impatience.
To immediately stop your experiment and respond to the
general, go to 69.
To make the general wait until you have completed your
experiment, go to 25.
2
Not taking your eyes off the beautiful but deadly advancing
Femdroid, you back pedal as fast as you can and fish out your old police
whistle. Blowing hard, you hope that your friend May Killan is within earshot. You
continue to crash backward through the clothes stands, sending dresses and tops
flying everywhere. The Femdroid continues to advance at a horrible menacing
pace, its head constantly swivelling to keep you in sight. Then with a thump,
you realise you've backed yourself into a changing room, with nowhere to run!
But just then something charges into the Femdroid from one
side, sending it clattering into a rack of shoes. It's Constable May Killan,
looking a little out of breath.
"Girl trouble again Tweedy?" she jokes.
"Oh you know me, some women can't keep their hands off
me."
May turns back to the Femdroid which is beginning to regain
its feet amid the pile of shoes. Its pretty but blank face plate has come loose,
revealing a pair of glowing eyeballs and an inhuman metallic skull covered in
circuitry. The reckless police woman leaps toward the robot, stooping to grab a
high heeled shoe in one hand. As the Femdroid swings a steel arm at her, May
brings the heel of the shoe down hard into the robot's exposed face, embedding
it deep in the skull. With a flash of sparks, the Femdroid goes immediately
rigid, the light in its eyeballs dimming to black.
May turns back to you and adjusts her uniform.
"That shoe looked like her size. I hope I can trust you
stay out of trouble from now on. So if you'll excuse me, I have to report this
to the station."
She goes out onto the street to use her radio.
Go to 27.
3
You clamber to your feet in the darkened storage area in the
rear of the department store. A service light on one wall serves to dimly
illuminate the high stacks of goods piled in towering rows . You move slowly
and cautiously along the ends of the aisles, looking for a way to explore
further.
Then you hear something! A thudding, clumping sound getting
closer and closer. It's coming from one of the further aisles.
To wait and see what's making the noise, go to 10.
To turn and run the other way, go to 64.
4
If ever there is a time to call for help, now is it! You
turn and run out of the grotto, the Santanaut hot on your heels, its eyes
crackling with power.
"HO HO HO!"
Ducking round behind a stack of jigsaw puzzles, you fish out
your old police whistle and blow hard, hoping that your friend May Killan is
within earshot. The Santanaut sends the stack of boxes flying with a single
swipe, showering you with small fragments of interlocking pictures.
As you brace for its attack, a figure in black and white
streaks past you, driving a truncheon deep into one of the robot's electric
eyes, which fizzes and goes dark. Constable May Killan turns to face you,
puffing from exertion
"Evening Tweedy. Ah, a killer Santa robot, I see,"
she declares.
"Excellent deduction, Constable May. If you'd be so
kind as to finish him off?"
The Santanaut compensates for its partial blindness and
strikes at May with a devastating backhand, which she partially dodges. She
replies with a spinning kick to the monster's side which does as much damage to
her foot as it does the robot's body. May yelps in pain. You distract the
Santanaut as best you can, tangling its arms and head in several springy
slinkies, and receive a glancing blow for your trouble.
But your distraction was sufficient for May to rally!
Seizing a golf club from a sporting goods rack, she batters the robot about the
head several times, raising sparks and roars of indignation. Then finally, she
thrusts the steel club deep into the Santanaut's chest, fatally
short-circuiting it and getting a nasty electric shock herself.
"Bad Santa," she cries weakly .
May slumps to the floor and passes out.
Lose 1 LIFE.
If your LIFE is still over zero, go to 71.
If not, your adventure ends here.
5
You rest for a while on the gantry, simply lying on your
back while you catch your breath. At length, the Argonauts below seem to lose
interest and stomp off into the dark recesses of the storage area. Brushing
yourself down, you climb to your feet and explore the gantry. There is a door
at either end leading into the store proper. One door has a sign saying Sports while the other says Toys.
To open the Sports door, go to 70.
To open the Toys door, go to 37.
6
A flurry of tiny plastic snowflakes fills the air, blinding
and choking you.
"HO HO HO!" booms the Santanaut as you struggle
for air.
Lose 1 LIFE.
If your LIFE is still over zero, go to 68.
If not, your adventure ends here.
7
You walk over to the radio and turn it up just as the music
ends and an advert plays. A woman's voice chirps in a sing-song tone:
What does every kid
want for Christmas? Why, their own AutoMate of course! AutoMate - the radio
controlled toy from Autolycos Games! It moves! It beeps! It's AutoMate, the
electronic pet that's not just for Christmas! Buy yours now!
You turn the radio off, but the woman's voice is
irritatingly insistent and lodges in the back of your head as you ponder your
next move.
There is a tiny noise behind you.
Go to 63.
8
The boy relaxes a little.
"How'd you know my name? No-one knows I'm in here,
except -"
"Except your sister Elizabeth," you finish the
boy's sentence, "She asked me to find you. She's really worried,
Peter."
Peter beckons you closer and whispers in a conspiratorial
voice.
"Course she is, but I had to investigate when that shop
assistant got killed, didn't I? I'd seen her sneaking stuff off the shelf and
into her bag just last week. And guess where she worked? In the toy department
right here," he declares with triumph.
"I thought maybe she was killed for stealing, but once
I sneaked in here I saw robots all over the place! I think it's an android
invasion! I've been keeping still and hoping none of them find me until I can
leg it."
You show Peter a safe route out and tell him to find his
sister outside. Reluctantly he allows you to take over the investigation. As he
leaves, he gives you some parting advice.
"Look out for Santa's breath!"
If you are prompted later to follow Peter's advice, add 10 to the section you are at and go
there.
With some trepidation, you make for the toy department.
Go to 37.
9
You shuffle backward quickly as the Robominion crawls out
toward you, and fish out your old police whistle. Blowing hard, you hope that
your friend May Killan is within earshot. You pull down boxes of toys before
you, trying to keep the horrid dead robot man away from your feet. It numbly
clambers over every object you throw down and you find yourself in the middle
of an aisle with nothing more in reach.
But just then a foot wearing a sturdy policewoman's shoe
delivers a mighty kick to the AutoMate toy clamped to the Robominion's face, dislodging
it and sending it straight to the back of a child-size football net across the
aisle. It's Constable May Killan, just in the nick of time.
"One-Nil to me!" she grins, and gives you a hand
up.
"An excellent second half substitution, if I do say so
myself," you reply.
Freed from the AutoMate control, the dead man has collapsed
where it is. May turns to the AutoMate itself as it struggles to free itself
from the tangled netting. She casually walks over and bashes the robot several
times on the head until something inside it cracks.
"What a nasty looking thing. I hope there aren’t any
more of them about. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to report this to the
station."
She goes out onto the street to use her radio.
Go to 17.
10
You straighten up and prepare to meet whatever is making the
thumping sound. As it gets closer you can tell it sounds like heavy footsteps,
as if made by someone wearing heavy, metal-tipped boots.
A large figure rounds the corner of the next row, pauses,
and then turns to face you. It is a bulky humanoid made entirely of metal in
the shape of an ancient warrior with a crested helmet and electric eyes. An
ARGONAUT!
Just as you begin to form a plan, the Argonaut strikes out
with one steel fist and delivers a crushing blow to your all-too human frame.
You collapse to the floor, cursing your over-confidence. As you lose
consciousness, you see the Argonaut reaching down for you…
Your adventure ends here.
11
You bound up the powered-off escalator and reach the first
floor of the department store, which is dimly lit by a moonlight sparkling
through a skylight above.
To the left is the sports department. You can see racks of
football kit, bicycles and other equipment. To the right is the toy department.
You can see shelves of games, dolls, magic tricks and puzzles.
To explore the sports department, go to 70.
To explore the toy department, go to 37.
12
"Sorry, little fellow, 'He who turns and runs away' and
all that."
You spin smartly around and rush for the door, hoping to put
some distance between yourself and the Roborodent. The high-pitched whine
behind you abruptly changes in pitch again as you vault the counter and reach
for the door knob. There is a sudden impact on your back and you stumble
slightly. You can feel dozens of tiny metal feet digging into your jacket,
clamping themselves securely to you.
As you reach up to brush the Roborodent, you feel a sudden
sharp jab in your neck, followed instantly by a burning sensation. You fall to
the floor crushing the horrible thing beneath you, immobilising it with your
own body weight. As consciousness departs, you can only hope that your friend
May will find you in time…
Your adventure ends here.
13
"Always worth checking all the angles before barging in
through the front," you remind yourself.
Some way down the high street, a side road leads round to a
loading bay at the rear of the department store. Large tire tracks through the
slush show where delivery lorries have been loading and unloading goods all
day. Massive bay doors are even more securely locked than the front doors
though.
There is a sound, like something briefly moving, behind some
big rubbish bins in the shadows of the loading bay.
To investigate the sound by the bins, go to 45.
To use the infra-red spectacles if you have them, go to 65.
To think better of investigating the sound and return to the
high street, go to 67.
14
Santa's Grotto resembles a tiny ice cave made of plastic
sheeting and polystyrene ice sculptures. Tiny Christmas lights flicker on and
off, and drifts of artificial snow cover the floor and every flat surface. At
the back of the grotto, seated on a large wooden chair, is a life-size dummy of
Santa Claus, his face frozen in a jolly expression. One arm extends round the
back of a small stool next to him.
"The skinflints couldn't even afford a real
Santa," you muse, "But I bet that stool's had a few hundred children
sitting on it all the same."
Heaped around the seats are dozens and dozens of identical
cardboard boxes. The printed picture on the front of each shows a colourful
AutoMate toy robot with big friendly eyes, bearing the legend It beeps! It moves! For kids of all ages! (batteries
not included).
"That's an awful lot of AutoMates. But I wonder how
many more have already been sold?"
To warily search the grotto for clues, go to 55.
To follow Peter's advice, add the special number to this
section number and go there.
15
Eventually arriving in Hoddleston, you make your way through
snowy streets bustling with people heading home after work, to the Department X
field office which also doubles as the local post office. As is to be expected
at this hour on Christmas Eve, the shop is closed up, but you have your special
Department X key with you, and you open the front door with a cheery tinkle of
the bell.
The post office is deserted of course, but you can hear a
radio playing in the back room. You call out for the agent but there is no
reply.
Walking round the counter and into the back room, you find
the agent, slumped on the floor! A drying pool of blood and a strange puncture
wound on the back of his neck tell you that he has been dead for at least an
hour. And not just dead, murdered.
Go to 30.
16
Not taking your eyes off the quivering Roborodent before
you, you fish out your old police whistle and blow hard, hoping that your
friend May Killan is within earshot. The sound seems to distract the Roborodent
for a second or two, affording you the chance to scramble backward toward the
door of the post office.
But the creature seems to recover its electronic wits and
streaks forward at speed, its dozens of tiny metallic feet propelling it across
the floor. As you brace for its attack, the door behind you bursts open, the
bell tinkling manically. Constable May Killan bursts in, truncheon in hand,
almost colliding with you.
"Oh hello May, nice of you to call by. Need some
stamps?" you quip.
May rolls her eyes.
"What trouble are you in now, you - oh!"
She sees the Roborodent winding up to attack, and shoves you
to one side. The creature seems to have assessed that she is the greater threat,
and focuses it camera-eyes on her. With a high-pitched squeal it springs
forward, syringe-like proboscis glistening wickedly.
But May is quicker still and lets her martial arts training
take over. She spins neatly on one heel, bringing her truncheon up like a
rounders bat. As the Roborodent launches itself at where she was just a moment
before, May comes around behind it and delivers a sturdy crack across its head
section with her police-issue baton. The creature's head shatters like an old
alarm clock, spilling gears and electronics across the floor. It is quite dead.
May dusts herself down and helps you to your feet.
"No, that's fine, don't thank me. I just hope that the
worst of it's over. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to report this to the
station."
She goes out onto the street to use her radio.
Go to 39.
17
You stoop down to examine the remains of the murderous AutoMate
toy. As you suspected, its construction is based on the Roborodent you
encountered before, but the design has been adapted to enable the creature not
just to attack people, but to latch onto a human being and transform them into
a Robominion - a half human, half robot puppet!
"And this has been sold to thousands of children as a
Christmas present!" you realise with horror, "But who would do such a
thing?"
You locate a small receiver/transmitter buried within the
AutoMate's head section and make a few simple adjustments.
"If there's anything else using the same frequency
nearby, I should get a ping… ah!"
You can hear a short chorus of muffled beeps from somewhere
inside the nearby Santa's Grotto.
Go to 14.
18
You take a step back to give the girl somewhere to run and
she takes the chance. Scrambling past you, she stamps on your foot and turns to
blow an impudent raspberry.
Lose 1 LIFE.
Then she runs off round the side of the department store
screaming again. You can make out her calling for someone called Peter as she
disappears into the snowy night.
There is nothing for it but to return to the front doors on
the high street.
Go to 67.
19
Of course! This is just the job for the mini laser. With
some effort, you fish the laser out of a pocket, even though that means having
to release the Roborodent, which drops to the floor and quickly rights itself.
In the moments it takes to refocus its camera-eyes, you have sighted the
pen-sized device on the robotic assassin. The Roborodent squeals and tenses to attack
once more.
But with a flip of a button, you activate the laser! A
bright, ruby-red ray of coherent light immediately strikes the creature,
scoring a deep groove in its metallic carapace. A hiss of evaporating hydraulic
fluid leaks out and the Roborodent flips onto its side, spinning around and
whining. Eventually it runs out of power and falls still. You give it a
cautious nudge with your foot. It is quite dead.
Cross the mini laser off from your list of gadgets.
Go to 39.
20
"That ain't my name! I'm scarpering!"
The boy starts to run, skirting past you as he makes for the
escalator.
He disappears downstairs, leaving you with nowhere left to
explore but the toy department.
Go to 37.
21
You make a thorough exploration of the clothing department,
as best you can in the darkness. There is little more to discover here.
"Apart from some truly amazing Christmas cardigans.
Look at this one - it's got bobbly snowmen on it!"
However, you do examine a customer information desk by the
tills. On the board behind the desk is a display proclaiming Meet the Staff! accompanied by photos of
each shop assistant grouped by department. You notice that there is a gap where
a picture should be in the toy section.
"Did someone leave recently... or did they have a nasty
accident?"
You decide to venture upstairs to the sport and toy
departments.
Go to 11.
22
You instinctively slide backward on your bottom as the Robominion
crawls on its hands and feet towards you, its dead eyes hidden behind the
AutoMate clamped to its face. With one foot you kick at it but the robotic
corpse fixes itself on your foot and begins to claw at your shoe leather. You
shake your foot violently but it has latched onto you firmly.
With nothing else to do, you hop upright with your free foot
and stamp down hard, smashing the Robominion into the floor even as it crawls
up your leg, grasping up at you. At last, something inside the animated body
breaks, and it relaxes its grip. It drops off your foot and lies quite still on
the floor.
Lose 2 LIFE.
If your LIFE is still over zero, go to 17.
If not, your adventure ends here.
23
You confidently walk over to where the boy is pretending to
be a dummy, convinced that there is no threat here. But the moment you approach
him unannounced, he lets out a gasp of breath and starts to run, bashing into
you as he makes for the escalator.
"You ain't going to catch me, you robominion!"
He disappears downstairs, leaving you with nowhere left to
explore but the toy department.
Lose 1 LIFE.
If your LIFE is still over zero, go to 37.
If not, your adventure ends here.
24
Recalling Peter's advice to beware Santa's breath, you
choose to ignore the tempting pile of AutoMates and fixate on the silent Santa
model sitting before you.
"Hmm, you seem quiet enough, old chap," you
ponder, "But what happens if I do… this?"
To test a theory, you snatch up a polystyrene ice sculpture
and place it on the small stool next to the model. There is a sudden whirring
sound as Santa powers up. With crushing inevitability, you realise that the
Santa dummy is more than a simple model - it is a robotic SANTANAUT! The
creature's eyes light up and it rises to its feet with surprising speed for something
so solid.
"HAVE YOU BEEN… A GOOD BOY?" its recorded voice
booms.
Rather than respond with one of your usual quips, you take a
deep breath and stay silent.
The Santanaut fixes you with a blazing robotic stare.
"NO! YOU HAVE NOT!"
And with that, the robot's great chest expands and contracts
as it breathes out, expelling a choking blizzard of artificial snow! You
congratulate yourself for taking the precaution to hold your breath, without
which you would surely have choked on the thick flurry of flakes.
Go to 68.
25
Gesturing to the general to wait, you turn back to your
experiment, adjusting dials and flicking switches, making notes and tapping
your nose thoughtfully with a pencil. The general huffs with increasing
impatience.
"Damn it man, your blasted tinkering can wait! This is
important."
You complete your experiment and place your goggles up on
your forehead.
"Sorry, General," you try to mollify the red-faced
soldier, "I was on the verge of isolating the frequency of a theoretical dimension
vibrating at right-angles to our own. The implications are simply…"
You trail off at the cold look of indifference on General
Gordon's face. He gets down to business.
"Pay attention man. One of our field agents has been
investigating a spate of inexplicable accidents in the Hoddleston area and has
requested scientific assistance. Ordinarily I'd send Dr Solomon - he is our
best man after all - but as he's already investigating those reports of alien
activity off the coast of Scotland, I'm looking to you to do the best you can
in his place. Think you can handle it?"
"Anything old Solomon can do, I can do twice as well in
half the time, General. Just let me grab my equipment and I'll be on my
way."
"Good. I've already alerted your police contact,
Constable Killan. She'll be in the area to provide assistance should you run
into any trouble. Now get going. Your train leaves in thirty minutes."
And with that, you board a lumbering train to the sleepy
town of Hoddleston, as the wintry snow drifts to earth in the late afternoon
light.
Go to 15.
26
"Let's have a look under here and see if anything's
fallen down."
You get right down on the floor to investigate the space
under the bottom-most empty shelf. It's too dark for you to see anything in
there. You might just have to stick your hand in and feel about.
To use the infra-red spectacles if you have them, go to 43.
To stick your hand into the darkness under the shelf, go to 58.
27
Surveying the carnage of the clothing department, you
shudder to think what other horrors might lurk here. First that Roborodent at
the post office and now the Femdroid!
"There's some unfriendly technology loose in this town
tonight. Don’t they know it's Christmas?"
The Femdroid bears similar hallmarks of construction to the Roborodent
that killed the agent. Clearly the work of the same hand. But to what purpose?
"What didn't someone want the agent to find, and what
don't they want me uncovering here?"
To finish your exploration of the clothing department, go to
21.
To head upstairs to the sport and toy departments before you
bump into any other Femdroids, go to 11.
28
The air mask, of course! You quickly fish it out and slip
the stripped-down breathing apparatus over your mouth and nose, drawing in
gulps of much needed oxygen.
"HO HO HO!" booms the Santanaut.
Cross the air mask off from your list of gadgets.
Go to 68.
29
You move through the racks and stands of the clothing
department. In the darkness, it feels more like a maze than a shop floor, and
you struggle to keep your bearings.
"How in the blazes am I supposed to find a crucial clue
like this?" you mutter.
Rounding a tall stack of dresses, you come face to face with
someone! With a start, you can't help but let out a small yelp.
The face before you is female and quite pretty. But she does
not move.
"Of course, it's just a mannequin!" you chuckle,
finally noticing the model's blank plastic face and lifeless glass eyes.
"Still, just to be on the safe side…"
To give the mannequin an experimental tap on its hollow
head, go to 52.
To move quickly past the mannequin and continue to explore,
go to 21.
30
The body of the murdered Department X agent lies at your
feet. His work desk is covered in newspaper clippings and police reports, while
a radio plays softly on a nearby filing cabinet.
To search the dead agent's body, go to 57.
To examine the papers on the work desk, go to 44.
To turn up the radio and listen, go to 7.
31
Of course! This is just the job for the mini laser. Not
taking your eyes off the crawling Robominion, you back pedal as fast as you can
and fish the pen-sized laser out of a pocket. The dead body with the AutoMate
face makes a crude lunge for you, and you manage to roll to one side as it
crashes into a dolls house.
But with a flip of a button, you activate the laser! A
bright, ruby-red ray of coherent light immediately strikes the AutoMate itself,
cutting it completely in half and dropping off the dead man's face. For a few
seconds the top half of the toy robot drags itself toward you while the back
half lurches about. At length, both halves of the menace lose power and go
dead.
Cross the mini laser off from your list of gadgets.
Go to 17.
32
"Hey, toro," you taunt the strange little creature
as you slip off your jacket and use it as a matador would against a bull. A
tiny mechanical bull. The high-pitched whine behind you abruptly changes in
pitch again and the Roborodent springs up from the floor toward you. But you
manage to block its leap with the sturdy tweed fabric of the jacket and bundle
it up tightly.
It struggles and scratches incessantly as you wrestle with
the thing. The wicked proboscis tipped with toxin jabs up through the jacket
just inches from your face and then retracts, like a scorpion's sting. This
thing is small and weak, but deadly!
To finish it off with brute force, go to 53.
To use the mini laser if you have it, go to 19.
To use the wristwatch buzzsaw if you have it, go to 60.
33
Desperately, you fling yourself up a pile of crates, boxes
and worryingly loose shelving, trying to gain some altitude. A metal gauntlet
snakes out from below and barely misses your foot as you haul yourself up
higher. You take a moment to look down and see the Argonauts directly below
you. Unable to climb themselves, they paw at the air with snapping, hydraulic
hands.
You are safe for the moment, but the climb has taken its
toll on your aching muscles and you struggle to hang on and avoid falling into
the robotic hands of the Argonauts…
Lose 1 LIFE.
If your LIFE is still over zero, go to 61.
If not, your adventure ends here.
34
"No point in wasting time and valuable equipment on
this one," you declare, and apply a sharp elbow to one of the glassed
doors of the department store. With a crash and a shower of shards it smashes,
tearing your arm slightly.
Lose 1 LIFE.
You reach in and open the door easily, and slip inside
before the few remaining people on the street at this hour notice you.
Go to 59.
35
With shock, you realise that the Santa dummy is more than a
simple model - it is a robotic SANTANAUT! The creature's eyes light up and it
rises to its feet with surprising speed for something so solid.
"HAVE YOU BEEN… A GOOD BOY?" its recorded voice
booms.
"Me? Oh I should say so. No complaints on that
score," you blather, considering your options.
The Santanaut fixes you with a blazing robotic stare.
"NO! YOU HAVE NOT!"
And with that, the robot's great chest expands and contracts
as it breathes out, expelling a choking blizzard of artificial snow!
To use the air mask if you have it, go to 28.
Otherwise go to 6.
36
Arriving in Hoddleston in good time, you make your way
through snowy streets bustling with last-minute Christmas shoppers, to the
Department X field office which also doubles as the local post office. As is to
be expected at this hour on Christmas Eve, the shop is closed up, but you have
your special Department X key with you, and you open the front door with a
cheery tinkle of the bell.
The post office is deserted of course, but you can hear a
radio playing in the back room. You call out for the agent but there is no
reply.
Walking round the counter and into the back room, you find
the agent, slumped on the floor! A spreading pool of blood and a strange
puncture wound on the back of his neck tell you that he doesn't have long to
live. You kneel close to the man and make him as comfortable as you can.
Weakly, he whispers something to you.
"It was too fast… Don't… try to…run."
And with that, he slips away.
Go to 30.
37
The toy department is as quiet as the grave. Piles of teddy
bears and dollies cover the shelves, and board games and colouring books lie in
neat stacks everywhere.
"Nobody's buying the old favourites this year, it
seems. So what are kids getting instead?"
The answer may lie in a set of completely empty shelves near
a Santa's Grotto. Bright futuristic signs proclaim that the sold-out is toy is AutoMate! Your automatic mate! It's a toy, it's
a pet, it's your new best friend! It's AutoMate!
"They must have a pretty amazing advertising campaign.
Pity there aren't any left for me to examine. Maybe if I have a little look
around..?"
To get down on your hands and knees and look under the shelves,
go to 26.
To poke your head inside Santa's Grotto, go to 14.
38
The girl is clearly terrified. She doesn't know who you are
or what you want, so you take a step back and plaster on your best 'harmless
substitute teacher' expression.
"It's alright! My name is Tweedy - I'm a scientific
advisor for the Department for Extraordinary Affairs. Look, here's my identity
card."
The girl relaxes a little and doesn't look like she's going
to run or scream again just yet. She says her name is Elizabeth and she's really
worried about her older brother Peter.
"He heard about that shop assistant from Hamilton's
being killed and thinks it's got something to with the department store itself.
He reckons he's a boy detective, so he sneaked in after closing." she
snorts.
"How did Peter get inside, Elizabeth?"
She grins and takes you over to where a pile of cardboard
boxes conceals a ventilation hatch. The grill is easily removed, revealing a
small aperture just large enough for a boy or a skinny scientific advisor.
"You will make sure Peter's safe, won't you?" asks
Elizabeth.
"Course I will!" you reassure her with a winning
grin. Then you duck down and squeeze through the hatch and into the department
store.
Go to 3.
39
With the threat of the Roborodent over, you bend down to
examine the remains. Its construction is extremely advanced, beyond
conventional micro-electronics. The device's small but efficient computerised
brain has been designed to carry out simple instructions which can be
transmitted over radio waves.
You spot something wedged in between two plates of its
shell. Carefully prying apart the metalwork, you find that it is a wedge of
paper, chewed and tattered, but still salvageable. It's a map of the town!
Smoothing it out, you recognise the dead agent's handwriting covering the map,
with an area under investigation circled in red ink. Hamilton's, a large department store on the high street, is marked
alongside the words 'shop assistant'.
It is dark outside, and the snow continues to fall. You
resolve to investigate the department store.
Go to 67.
40
Before the Femdroid can lay a beautifully formed hand on
you, you close in, seizing each of its wrists, halting its advance. You can
hear its hydraulics straining as its hidden servo motors match your muscles.
Locked in a deadly struggle you and the Femdroid crash into racks of clothing,
spilling piles of underwear across the floor. The Femdroid slips on some slips
and it stumbles forward, catching you off balance. The two of you fall to the
ground with a thump.
The impact has broken your hold on the Femdroid's arms, and
she clambers on top of you, fixing a powerful robotic hand around your throat
and cutting off your air! As you fight for breath you see the pedestal of a
clothing stand to one side, its stubby steel pole jutting straight up. As your
vision begins to fade, you just manage to bring your knees up under the looming
Femdroid and then heave your legs out, propelling the robot backward!
With a terrible thunk, it falls back onto the steel pedestal
pole, impaling it through the chest! The Femdroid struggles violently for some
seconds, then slowly winds down, the light behind its eyes going black.
Lose 3 LIFE.
If your LIFE is still over zero, go to 27.
If not, your adventure ends here.
41
Quietly, so as not to alert the sports models, you fish out
the infra-red spectacles and put them on. Where the dummies were dark,
indistinct shapes, now you can see quite clearly, albeit in black and red.
Looking over at the two larger models, they appear to be
exactly as they appear - inanimate blank-faced humanoid dummies which are no
threat to anyone. But appearances can be deceiving, as you have learnt.
The smaller model is a different matter though. Now that you
can see under the parka hood, you can see the features of boy, a real living
boy. He is looking back at you and trying hard not to move.
Cross the infra-red spectacles off from your list of
gadgets.
To approach the boy, go 23.
To softly call to the boy, go to 54.
42
The Santanaut hits you with the force of a compact car,
sending you flying out the grotto and sprawling into a pile of teddy bears. You
scramble to your feet as the berserk robot stomps forward, its eyes crackling
with power.
"HO HO HO!"
Reflexively, you fling an armful of teddies at the
Santanaut, distracting it. One teddy lodges in the robot's great bearded mouth
and is instantly chewed to fluffy pieces by chomping metal jaws. You reach up
to a shelf and grab a small colourful wooden box, just as the Santanaut clamps
its arms around you in a crushing bearhug. You feel several ribs crack.
Desperately fighting for breath, you wait until the robot
opens its mouth to speak once more, and then cram the small box down its
artificial throat. From somewhere inside its mechanical chest, you can just
make out the tinny sound of a recorded voice: Half a Pound of tuppenny rice, half a pound of treacle…
Just as you think the Santanaut is about to break your back,
something goes sproing deep inside
the robot, and its vicelike grip relaxes. Its eyes go dim and its mouth sags
open. You slip awkwardly from its embrace.
"Pop goes the weasel, old chap."
Lose 4 LIFE.
If your LIFE is still over zero, go to 71.
If not, your adventure ends here.
43
Apart from dust and old price stickers, there's a cardboard
box. It is an AutoMate box, torn open at one end. The printed picture on the
front shows a colourful toy robot with big friendly eyes, bearing the legend It beeps! It moves! For kids of all ages! (batteries
not included).
And wedged behind the box is the body of a human being! It
looks like a night watchman for the department store. He is not moving. Perhaps
he crawled under the shelves looking for something and got stuck.
"Or maybe he was hiding from someone or something -
hey!"
Clamped to the man's face is the AutoMate toy itself. It
looks like it's dug into his head. As you watch it seems to sense your presence
and comes to life with a series of small clicking sounds, like gears shifting
into place. The dead body responds to the AutoMate's direction, stirring from
its resting place. With a horrid jerky motion, the ROBOMINION crawls out from
under the shelf toward you, the horrid toy robot still affixed firmly to its
face!
Cross the infra-red spectacles off from your list of
gadgets.
Go to 49.
44
The papers on the work desk are a variety of cuttings from
local newspapers and copies of police reports. Some mention that the number of
homeless people on the streets of Hoddleston has dropped dramatically lately,
which the council puts down to the onset of winter and people drifting to
warmer climes.
Other reports mention several unusual deaths in the area
over the last month, ranging from a lorry driver found dead in his cabin to a
shop assistant who died at home. The post mortems state that the deaths were
all caused by a puncture wound somewhere on the body which introduced a highly
toxic compound into the victim's bloodstreams, causing death within a matter of
minutes.
Tattered scraps of a local map litter the desk top, but it
is clear that only fragments remain. The central portion of the Hoddleston map
is missing.
There is a movement at the corner of your eye.
Go to 63.
45
Cautiously, wary of danger, you creep over to the bins in
the shadows of the loading bay. Your eyes and ears strain to catch a sign of
what's hiding in the darkness. Closer, closer, you pick your way as quietly as
possible through the discarded cardboard boxes and litter until you round the
side of the bins and leap out on whatever it is with a load "Ha!"
Your exclamation is met by a piercing scream! A young girl
cowers back from you, looking nervously left and right as if for an escape
route.
To reassure the girl, go to 38.
To let her run off, go to 18.
46
Determined to find that elusive AutoMate, you stick your
hand into the space under the shelf once more and sweep from left to right. At
first you find nothing, but then, stretching in further so your head brushes
against the bottom shelf, your fingers brush something smooth and cool.
"There you go, my little friend! Come to Tweedy -
hey!"
The object suddenly twists and moves of its own accord with
a series of small clicking sounds, like gears shifting into place. Then there
is a sharp stab in the back of your hand following by a burning sensation. As
you lose consciousness, you reach feebly for your old police whistle…
Your adventure ends here.
47
"I don't know you! I'm off!"
The boy starts to run, skirting past you as he makes for the
escalator.
He disappears downstairs, leaving you with nowhere left to
explore but the toy department.
Go to 37.
48
Ah, the trusty old photonic spanner! Ideal for deactivating menacing
metal models! Not taking your eyes off the beautiful but deadly advancing
Femdroid, you back pedal as fast as you can and fish the spanner out of a
pocket. The Femdroid swings a steel fist at your head, but you just about dodge
the blow, which pulverizes a rack of bowties.
But with a twist of your fingers you transmit the spanner's
jamming signal! A low sonic hum pulses through the clothing department,
immediately affecting the robot which begins to shudder and move erratically.
Its head jerks spasmodically from left and right as each glowing eye moves
independently of the other. The Femdroid reaches both hands up to its own neck,
and with a heave and a shower of sparks, tears its head right off. The body
rocks for a moment and then goes still.
Cross the photonic spanner off from your list of gadgets.
Go to 27.
49
To fight the Robominion yourself, go to 22.
To call for May if you have not already done so, go to 9.
To use the mini laser if you have it, go to 31.
50
You pray that the mini laser will be enough to halt the
Santanaut. You turn and run out of the grotto, the rampaging robot hot on your
heels, its eyes crackling with power. As you fish the pen-sized laser out of a
pocket, the Santanaut drives a fist into your back, sending you sprawling into
a bin full of footballs.
"HO HO HO!"
But with a flip of a button, you activate the laser! A
bright, ruby-red ray of coherent light immediately strikes the Santanaut's
face, igniting its cotton wool beard and slicing the jolly plastic face right
off the steel skull beneath. The robot brings a huge hand up to pat the
smouldering flames and soon its entire hand is wreathed in flames.
You tumble unceremoniously out of the football bin and
scramble backwards as the burning robot lumbers on, shedding melting polyester
clothing as it does so. At length, something vital inside the Santanaut melts,
and with a shudder the flaming body crashes to the floor.
Cross the mini laser off from your list of gadgets.
Lose 1 LIFE.
If your LIFE is still over zero, go to 71.
If not, your adventure ends here.
51
Ah, the trusty old photonic spanner! Ideal for springing
uncooperative locks! You fish the spanner out of a pocket and make the
necessary adjustments. With a low sonic hum, the handy electronic tool triggers
the department store's door lock, which gives a small click as it releases.
You open the door and slip inside before the few remaining
people on the street at this hour notice you.
Cross the photonic spanner off from your list of gadgets.
Go to 59.
52
"Knock-knock, anyone at home?" you chuckle,
thinking how much the dummy reminds you of an old girlfriend.
Suddenly, the mannequin's head swivels round to face you!
Its glassy eyes blink once, then glow with inner power! It is a robotic
FEMDROID! The Femdroid's arms and legs move in a swift but jerky motion as it
attacks!
To try to wrestle with the manic model, go to 40.
To call for May if you have not already done so, go to 2.
To use the photonic spanner if you have it, go to 48.
53
The Roborodent struggles free of its confines, but with some
effort you manage to hold it at arm's length as its body bucks back and forth
with powerful jerking motions, its multiple feet scratching tiny gashes in your
arms.
Lose 2 LIFE.
Then, with as much force as you can muster, you swing it by
its rear section around and around, finally smashing it against a wall. With a
tinkling of broken gears and a squeal of protest, it goes limp and then silent.
You drop the broken creature to the floor and give it a cautious nudge with
your foot. It is quite dead.
Go to 39.
54
Rather than walk up to him and spook the boy, you call out
to him softly from a short distance away.
What do you call out?
To say Hey kid, go
to 47.
To say Hey Paul,
go to 20.
To say Hey Peter,
go to 8.
55
With great caution, given the nasty surprises you've already
encountered tonight, you approach the pile of AutoMate toy boxes. They seem to
be exactly as they appear - toy robots that move, make sounds and can be radio
controlled. So far, so innocent, but you'd have to open one up to make a full
and proper examination of any threat.
You take one out of its box and start to lever the back
panel open. But as you do so, there is a sudden whirring sound from very
nearby, as something powers up.
Go to 35.
56
This is just the job for the climbing suckers, you realise,
and quickly slip them on, even as the Argonauts bear down on you, their trapped
prey. With seconds to spare, you slap your palms onto the sheer wall of the
storage area and place your feet likewise. Hand over hand, foot by foot, you
clamber up the wall, narrowly avoiding the hydraulic gauntlets of the Argonauts
from dragging you down to certain doom.
"See you, suckers!" you crow at the robots below,
as you reach the safety of the gantry.
Cross the climbing suckers off from your list of gadgets.
Go to 5.
57
As the radio continues to chirp away in the background, you
carefully search the unfortunate agent's body. You find his Department X
identity card and his pistol. It has not been fired. Whatever killed him did so
before he could get a shot off.
The nasty puncture wound on the back of his neck suggests
that the attack was from behind, and instantly rendered him incapable of
fighting back. A blackish discolouration around the wound may have been caused
by some sort of toxin, but without a full post-mortem it's hard to tell.
There is a movement at the corner of your eye.
Go to 63.
58
You feel around the dark space, encountering dust and old
price stickers. Then your hand brushes up against something lightweight and
made of cardboard. A small box of some sort. You drag it out and blow the dust
off the package. It is an AutoMate box, torn open at one end. The printed
picture on the front shows a colourful toy robot with big friendly eyes,
bearing the legend It beeps! It moves! For
kids of all ages! (batteries not included).
"But it's empty. Maybe it fell out under there."
To keep rooting around under the shelf, go to 46.
To think better of it and have a look in Santa's Grotto, go
to 14.
59
You are in the darkened cosmetics department at the front of
the store. Beyond the counters and displays of perfume and make-up you can see
mannequins wearing the latest fashions, which must be the clothing department.
Over to one side of the shop is an escalator leading up to the first floor,
alongside a sign stating Sporting Goods
and Toys.
To investigate the clothing department, go to 29.
To investigate the sport and toy departments, go to 11.
60
Ah, your stylish wristwatch buzzsaw! Just the thing cutting hostile
robotic assassins down to size! With some effort, you use one free hand to
activate the watch's hidden mechanism, while the Roborodent continues to
struggle in your grip, making a nasty mess of your tweed jacket and barely
missing your exposed arm.
But with a flick of the wrist you bring the wristwatch
buzzsaw down on the creature's metallic carapace! Sparks fly and the air is
filled with the teeth-rattling shrill of metal grinding on metal. The Roborodent
struggles but within seconds you have cut deeply into its shell, severing a
power coupling. The vicious robot goes limp. It is quite dead.
Cross the wristwatch buzzsaw off from your list of gadgets.
Go to 39.
61
Managing to cling on, you realise that you have reached the
level of the gantry on the nearby wall. With a heave of your legs you launch
yourself into space and hit the metalwork hard, clinging on to the gantry with
all your might to prevent you from falling to your death…
Lose 1 LIFE.
If your LIFE is still over zero, go to 5.
If not, your adventure ends here.
62
Your trusty photonic spanner, ideal for disrupting cybernetic
Santas! You turn and run out of the grotto, the rampaging robot hot on your
heels, its eyes crackling with power. As you fish the spanner out of a pocket
the Santanaut catches your trailing foot, flipping you into the air. You land
painfully in a pile of building blocks
"HO HO HO!"
But with a twist of your fingers you transmit the spanner's
jamming signal! A low sonic hum pulses through the toy department, immediately
affecting the Santanaut which begins to spin its head round in a full circle,
as if sighting multiple targets.
"BAD BOY. BAD BOY. BAD BOY." it spouts incessantly
as it strikes at thin air, ignoring you completely. Careening wildly about the
toy department, the berserk Santanaut stumbles closer and closer to the balcony
overlooking the ground floor until it topples over! There is a terrible, heavy crash
from downstairs.
Cross the photonic spanner off from your list of gadgets.
Lose 1 LIFE.
If your LIFE is still over zero, go to 71.
If not, your adventure ends here.
63
As you stare in fascination, you can see that its eyes are a
pair of swivelling lenses that open and close like camera shutters. It emits a
high pitched whine as it moves across the floor toward you. The whine increases
in pitch suddenly as the thing begins to quiver, like a tiny model car revving
up. Futuristic writing printed on its shell reveals that this curious creature
is a ROBORODENT, and a wicked syringe-like probe jutting from its head section
suggests that you have found the agent's killer!
To turn and run for
the door, go to 12.
To brace yourself for its attack, go to 32.
To call for May if you have not already done so, go to 16.
64
With a start, you realise you can hear a similar noise
coming toward you from this end as well! It sounds like heavy footsteps, as if
made by someone wearing heavy, metal-tipped boots. You skid to a halt, just as
another figure emerges from an aisle in front of you. It pauses and then turns
to face you. It is a bulky humanoid made entirely of metal in the shape of an
ancient warrior with a crested helmet and electric eyes. An ARGONAUT!
Robots in front of you, robots behind you! You take the only
avenue left and run down the aisle between the two Argonauts, hoping that there
will be some way to escape them at this end of the storage area. But it
terminates in a dead end, a sheer wall in front of you leading to a gantry high
above, and rickety stacks of goods on either side. Behind you, you can hear
twin sets of metallic feet stomping closer.
To try to climb a stack of goods to safety, go to 33.
To use the climbing suckers if you have them, go to 56.
65
Quietly, so as not to alert whatever is lurking in the
shadows, you fish out the infra-red spectacles and put them on. Where the
loading bay was nothing but shadows and indistinct shapes, now you can see
quite clearly, albeit in black and red.
Looking over at the bins, at first you can see nothing but
piles of rubbish and discarded packing boxes. Then you can make out something
trying to stay still. It's the head and shoulders of a young girl, hiding
behind the bins. It is hard to make out her features at this distance and with
the strange colouring of the spectacles, but you can tell she is looking
straight at you. She is shaking.
Cross the infra-red spectacles off from your list of
gadgets.
Go to 38.
66
You warily approach the three sports models, hoping that
your instincts are correct. As you get nearer, it seems clear that the two
larger models are nothing but dummies. But the moment you get close, the
smaller model lets out a gasp of breath and starts to run - it's a boy! He
bashes into you as he makes for the escalator.
"Hands off bot-brain, I'm legging it!"
He disappears downstairs, leaving you with nowhere left to
explore but the toy department.
Lose 1 LIFE.
If your LIFE is still over zero, go to 37.
If not, your adventure ends here.
67
Although the department store is now closed, cheery
Christmas lights and themed window displays sparkle with festive charm. The
name Hamilton's stands out in green
and gold above the glassed shop doors. The street is all but deserted now, with
most people at home.
You try the front doors to the shop, but they are firmly
locked. There may be another way in though, perhaps round the back.
To simply smash a glassed door and let yourself in, go to 34.
To use the photonic spanner if you have it, go to 51.
To try round the back of the department store if you have
not already done so, go to 13.
68
The flurry of snow eventually dies down and the last few flakes
drift down to settle on the Santanaut's big red chest.
"BAD BOY!" it roars and raises its steel arms with
a whoosh of powerful hydraulics.
It attacks!
To fight the Santanaut yourself, go to 42.
To call for May if you have not already done so, go to 4.
To use the mini laser if you have it, go to 50.
To use the photonic spanner if you have it, go to 62.
69
Sighing ever so slightly, you halt your experiment and place your goggles up on your forehead.
69
Sighing ever so slightly, you halt your experiment and place your goggles up on your forehead.
"Yes, General? What can I do for you? Need a hand wrapping
presents for all the good agents?"
The general ignores your sarcasm and gets straight down to
business.
"Pay attention man. One of our field agents has been
investigating a spate of inexplicable accidents in the Hoddleston area and has
requested scientific assistance. Ordinarily I'd send Dr Solomon - he is our
best man after all - but as he's already investigating those reports of alien
activity off the coast of Scotland, I'm looking to you to do the best you can
in his place. Think you can handle it?"
"Anything old Solomon can do, I can do twice as well in
half the time, General. Just let me grab my equipment and I'll be on my
way."
"Capital. I've already alerted your police contact,
Constable Killan. She'll be in the area to provide assistance should you run
into any trouble. Now get going. You can take an X-Mobile to get you there in
double time."
And with that, you take a sleek departmental X-Mobile to the
sleepy town of Hoddleston, as the wintry snow drifts to earth in the afternoon
light.
Go to 36.
70
The sports department is dark and still, lit only by the
skylight above. Racks of golf clubs, tennis clubs and football boots line the
aisles.
"This is the closest I've been to a pair of football
boots since school sports day, and even then I had a note from my parents.
Faked of course."
Up ahead in the gloom stands a group of shop dummies. At
this distance it's hard to make out details, but the two larger models seem to
be wearing shorts and sports shirts, while the much smaller model is wearing a
bulky parka jacket and jeans. Its face is hidden by the hood.
To think better of confronting the sports models and try the
toy department instead, go to 37.
To approach the sports models, go to 66.
To use the infra-red spectacles if you have them, go to 41.
71
An image of a wild haired man wearing goggles appears on the
screen, accompanied by a crackly audio transmission.
This is Dr Ulysses
Argo, supreme architect of robotics! Your meddling may have disrupted this part
of my operation Mattison, but my clever little AutoMates are even now sitting
in Christmas stockings the length and breadth of the country. Hundreds,
thousands of automated terrors, just waiting for all the little children to
open them up! And when they do, the world will know true fear!
His voice drips with malevolence and the screen goes black.
Can you stop Argo's mad scheme before the AutoMates attack
on Christmas morning?
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